Today’s question:
When you want to attract attention of a stranger, like in a situation above, how do you address the stranger in Japanese?
The word “you” in Japanese
Most dictionaries list あなた for the English word “you” but I try to avoid using that word as much as I can because it sounds like I am looking down on the other person.
Use their name
So the best option is to use the other person’s name with a suffix or use their job title. Remember to use a suffix because not using any suffix is called 呼び捨て and it is considered VERY RUDE in Japan.
Appropriate suffixes In the order of politeness would be:
- [surname] さま or [full name] さま (for a customer/client)
- [job title] alone or [surname] + [job title] – examples of job titles:
- しゃちょう (president)、
- ぶちょう (senior manager)、
- かちょう (manager)、
- きょうじゅ (professor)
- せんせい (doctor/teacher)
- [surname] さん or [full name] さん (for acquaintances and colleagues of the same rank or below)
- [given name] さん (for more than acquaintances but less than close friends)
- [nick name] only or [given name] ちゃん (close friends and family members younger than you)
These suffixes/titles are gender neutral.
Having said that, do NOT add any suffix to the name of your own family member or your colleague when talking to people outside your own family/company. If I hear a Japanese native speaker I’ve never met adding a suffix to their own family member when talking to me, I can’t help feeling odd. In a business scene, by not adding a suffix, you show respect to your potential customer.
If you don’t know their name
This becomes a real challenge and I don’t believe there is a fixed correct answer, but we often use terms to call our own family members to address strangers.
In case of a young lady in an urgent situation pictured above, I might say, 「そこの おねえさん、あぶない！」 (The “big sister” over there, watch out!) If it is a young guy, instead of おねえさん, I may call him おにいさん. Having said that, calling someone おにいさん or おねえさん would raise a certain level of suspicion and/or caution. I will never do that unless it is a really pressed situation.
Middle-aged people can be called おじさん (Uncle) or おばさん (Aunt). Kids will call their friend’s parents and anybody in that age group おじちゃん or おっちゃん (Uncle) and おばちゃん (Auntie), and this is generally accepted, but be aware that most people are not particularly fond of being called that way.
If the other person is clearly old, you may call him/her おじいさん/おじいちゃん (Grandpa) or おばあさん/おばあちゃん (Grandma). In both cases the “-chan” version sounds friendlier. However, if they don’t consider themselves old, they will get offended also, so be careful.
When I’m shopping, I have been called おくさん (the term that refers to somebody else’s wife but its literal meaning is a person at the back in the house), which is similar to be called “Madam” so I don’t mind it but younger generation may not like that for its literal meaning. If I’m shopping for grocery, I may be called おかあさん (Mum) and my husband おとうさん (Dad).
When we are talking to a really young person (definitely below teenage), we often use ぼく (“me” for boys) or わたし (“me” for girls) for the English “you” as well. For example, ぼく、いくつ？ is a question “how old are you?” to an infant boy.
Family Words that can be used to attract attention from members
| male | Whom to use | Family Member | female |
|---|---|---|---|
| おじいさん | old people (be careful!) | grandparents | おばあさん |
| おにいさん | young people | older sibling | おねえさん |
| ぼく | extremely young people | myself | わたし |
| おじさん | middle aged people (in a neutral setting) | uncle/aunt | おばさん |
| おとうさん | middle aged people (when they are with their family) | parents | おかあさん |
| ごしゅじん | middle aged people (when calling a customer) | (somebody else’s) spouse | おくさん |
You cannot replace the “-san” suffix of おくさん with “-chan.”
For the pronunciation of these words, watch this video: Family Part I.
Answer to today’s question: possibly そこの おねえさん (The “big sister” over there)
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